Tropes: Friends-To-Lovers
Romantic tropes exist on a realism scale that varies by individual. While we may love a particular scenario with all our heart, we know we will never fall for it in the real world. For instance, the closest my soul, mind and overall attitude will ever allow me to come to an enemies-to-lovers arc is eating my words concerning fictional men as their character develops over multiple television show seasons (Hello, Jamie Tartt). Because, as my friend Geneva so gracefully put it, once I decide I hate a man, that door is closed, bolted, and barred, never to be opened again. However, one trope in particular is universally regarded as one of the most realistic: the antithesis of the beloved E-T-L, Friends-To-Lovers.
While the idea of misread affection may make many readers' toes curl, in our everyday lives, most people are more prone to fall for someone whose company they enjoy, someone they know well and who, in turn, knows them. Friends-To-Lovers is the natural progression of many relationships, especially those in which the parties involved have known each other for a significant amount of time. While it is not my favorite to read, I enjoy watching it unfold in both the real and fictional realms and understand its appeal on a technical level.
There is something so satisfying about a slow burn, which is all but guaranteed in a Friends-To-Lovers romance. For the relationship to transition correctly, the audience must first get to know the characters through the lens of their friendship, which inherently holds off any romance until at least halfway through the story. From there, the writer has three options. They may either create two characters who start their journeys oblivious to their feelings for the other, two characters who are both mutually, yet secretly, pining for each other or a tale in which there is one of each.
Based on that decision, the plot breakdown may or may not include a few things. The first is something I like to call "The big realization." It's that "ah-ha" moment in which one character finally understands that the romantic partner they have been searching for has been in front of them all along. The other is pining, be it mutual or one-sided, which, if done well, can leave viewers or readers giddy, breathless and hooked just as much as the heroine or hero. However, no matter which path a story takes, the final destination remains the same: a confession of longtime and ardent affection, which makes all the angst, misunderstood tension, and time invested more than worth it.
To all the people who believe they are stuck in the friend zone, maybe you’re just not to your stories mid-point.
A couple of reasons this is not my favorite trope with which to engage and why it often comes in second when pitted against its aforementioned opposite are that the banter between the couple is often not as good, and they can come across as a tad "gaslight-y" when not executed properly. Because the two protagonists have known each other for an extended time and value their already-established relationship, they don't usually flirt as blatantly as new acquaintances or enemies do. On top of this, if one part of the couple repeatedly establishes that they do not have feelings for the other and then The Big Realization comes about due to jealousy because the other person is finally moving on, the payoff has the potential not to feel as deserved due to level of emotional manipulation that had to take place.
My first exposure to this trope (and I am guessing this rings true for many other 90s babies) was The Lion King. Simba and Nala begin their arcs as mere cubs who ensure Zazu they will not be getting married as they are friends, and it would be "too weird." Yet, when they are reunited 4 years later, all it takes is 24 hours and one song by Elton John for that moment of realization to occur.
Since then, Friends-To-Lovers has dominated the romance space in every age group. From children's tales such as Anne of Green Gables to YA sagas like Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson and The Olympians and The Summer I Turned Pretty series by Jenny Han, it has always been there to comfort and guide those in the throes of young love, as well as those who seek it still later on in life. To name a very select few, it has appeared in classics like Jane Austen's Emma and When Harry Met Sally, as well as newer releases, including Plus One starring Jack Quaid and Maya Erskine and Once More With Feeling by Elissa Sussman. Friends-To-Lovers is a trope that will never go out of style simply because we crave stories that are believable, and it might just be the most plausible trope of them all.
