Quick Tips: Treat Yo Self, Date Yo Self

You’re curled up in bed at 1 a.m. again, re-reading your favorite Emily Henry novel and getting swept away by the main characters’ romance. All their flirty banter. The electric chemistry. The date that’s absolutely, totally not a date, according to the characters. The misunderstanding that leads to a knock-down, drag-out fight (and make up). The slow burn and big declaration of love. Your head and heart are swimming in romantic themes.

We know all too well how engrossing a good romantic storyline can be and how we can walk away with a new appreciation for love, and at The FMC, we believe that love should extend to ourselves. One of the best ways to bring a little more love into your life? Take yourself out on a solo date.

Because who can woo us better than ourselves? We know our all-time favorite things, how we most like spending our time, the artists, movies and books that inspire us, and our most profound hopes and biggest dreams we long to fulfill.

Spending intentional time alone is one of the highest forms of self-care. I recently took myself on a solo date, designing an ideal day for me. It started at Sugarbird Sweets & Teas in Glendale where I enjoyed afternoon tea, a party of one. I savored my feta chive and strawberry buttermilk scones while devouring more Red Rising chapters.

After enjoying all my delicacies and ending on a page that wasn’t a total cliffhanger, I wandered to Lost Books, which is the most aesthetically pleasing bookstore (/plant store/vinyl shop/bird haven?) I’ve had the honor of exploring before. I wandered up and down the aisles, taking the time to peruse, people-watch, and consider buying a plant before accepting that I am most definitely not cut out to be a plant mom. After purchasing Lisa Jewell’s recent novel, “None of This is True” (thriller girlies, rise up), I ended the day window shopping in the adorable neighborhood of Montrose. It was perfect.

Whether you’ve found a romance straight out of a romcom or are still searching for your love, there are so many benefits to going on a solo date and enjoying your own company.

1.    It’s empowering.

Taking yourself out can boost your confidence and increase your self-sufficiency. I care more about trying new things by myself than potentially  feeling judged by others for being alone. So yes, that is a table for one, and no, I’m not waiting on anyone, thank you.

2.    It enables more connection with your inner self.

Solo dates grant you the time and space to explore and expand your interests. Your favorite music venue has cheap, last-minute tickets for a new artist you’ve never heard of, and your boyfriend isn’t free? No problem! Maybe that concert is where you fell in love with EDM or German Reggae.

3.    It provides opportunities to make new friends.

When you’re out doing things you love, a major benefit is meeting new people who also love those same things. It’s easier to make new friends when you have a common interest.

4.    It just plain feels good.

Time spent doing only what you want to do and exactly how you want to do it? That’s dreamy. Eat your favorite meal and shop at your favorite store. Explore a new hiking trail or rent a karaoke room and belt out musical showtunes. See the new movie you’ve been eyeing or finally visit that museum you’ve been meaning to check out. Embrace that it’s all on your          own timetable and no other considerations besides your own.

5.    It teaches you to seize the moment.

When you’re comfortable spending time by yourself and don’t feel the need to check for anyone else to become available, you are more likely to say “yes” to opportunities and gain new experiences, which is a win-win.

At the end of the day, we are the protagonists of our lives. We are confident. We get out of our comfort zones because we know that’s where the magical stuff happens. We enjoy our own company. We invest time, money, and effort in ourselves because we know we’re deserving of it. We understand that life and time are precious, so we won’t hold back waiting for others to make our dreams come true.

We are the main characters, after all.

Pro Tip: To help ensure you consistently carve out time for yourself, set a recurring event in your calendar each month to block off time for a mini solo date.