RE: Chaotic Beginnings
Hello from London!
I have been in this "new" city for almost two weeks, which is wild because it seems like two days. I was in Dublin for about half the time and getting settled the rest, so that feeling is somewhat rational, but when I woke up this morning, everything felt very official. In fact, I dubbed today my first "real life" day (It was supposed to be yesterday, but then I found out Dermot Kennedy was playing All Points East in Victoria Park and needs must.). From here on out, I will be out of vacation mode and pressing into all the things I came here to do: more interviews, blog posts, self-publication prep, rom-com exploration, Book 2 inspiration, and more that I can't wait to share. But I don't think I'll be busy at all.
Despite the current cloudy weather, which I am obsessed with, it's all sunshine and rainbows in my mind. At least right now. The past version of myself that had been here less than 24 hours was ready to turn right around and go home. If you take nothing else from this post, heed my warning: Be careful what you wish for besties because the universe listens to you. I said I wanted this trip to be a romantic comedy, and she said, "Wish granted. But I think you forgot how those usually start." My ticket to London was for a plane leaving on August 17, 2023, at 8:50 PM, a flight that got canceled around 1:00 PM the day prior. Besides a flight on the 18th that would have me arrive at 6:30 in the morning, the airline's only suggestion was to rebook me on one of the final two seats for my original flight's twin, which was leaving that day. Thank goodness I was already packed because my remaining 29 hours at my parents' house dwindled to five during the span of a six-minute phone call. There is a certain irony to this beginning that only the select few who have read my manuscript will understand. Still, while it wasn't entirely a mad dash to the airport, it was a quicker turnaround than my type-A brain is accustomed to or enjoys.
While physically, I may have been ready, emotionally and mentally, I was not. The slight trauma incurred by this change led to very little sleep on the ride over and many tears shed under the guise of watching Red, White, & Royal Blue. Thus, when I arrived at my new flat with my three large suitcases and cumbersome backpack in tow and found it locked, vacant and looking to remain that way until my roommates returned on their evening commutes, I was incredibly exhausted, hungry and high-strung. Unable to leave my belongings or move them any great distance, I settled in for my seven-hour wait. Fortunately, it ended up being only two. My rescue came in the form of a flatmate's younger sister temporarily sharing her space, who graciously helped lug my bags up the apartment's fifteen steps. But the opening title still had not rolled.
My room was exactly as I had seen it over FaceTime. The furniture I had been promised was there, but so were many, many things I was not. It is one to leave items for the next tenant that you believe they will find helpful. It is another to simply not clean off shelves, empty desk drawers or wipe down dusty dressers. There was only so much unpacking I could do. More than overwhelmed and a little bit disgusted, I left to purchase the few things I would need, like sheets and a pillow, and, of course, to call my mom. We agreed that I could find a way out of the lease if need be, and now that I was in the city, I would be able to pay in-person visits to new lodgings. What we didn't talk about was that I was convinced this whole adventure was a terrible idea and that, due to my lack of sleep, I was ready to throw in the towel. These feelings spiraled into a night of self-pity as the springs from an unfamiliar mattress dug into my skin. There was no way this could turn out how I thought it would.
A miraculous thing happens when you sleep. Your body rests, and your hormones change. While I did not wake up with an entirely new perspective, Joy (as voiced by Amy Poehler in Inside Out) was slowly brushing Mindy Kaling, Phyllis Smith and Bill Hader to the side. I came to terms with the fact that even if the state of my lodgings was not as expected, the room could be cleaned and rearranged. First, however, I decided to venture into a historical and beloved staple of my new neighborhood, Borough Market. Wandering amongst the produce stalls and pursuing the offerings of the various food vendors, I was reminded that London truly is a magical place. There is a reason I love it here and a reason I've always felt a pull towards it. Over the next few days, in between various excursions, I made my room my own. When I returned from Dublin, soul-replenished courtesy of The Aces, The Vamps and various Irish Pub singers, and flopped down on my Primark comforter, I felt like I had come home.
Now, I still need a few odds and ends, but I am happily writing this sitting at the aforementioned and recently cleaned-out desk, newly adorned by bits and bobs from LA, with the London Eye in my peripheral view. The four girls I live with are charming and friendly, with lives of their own that keep the front door on a constant swivel. My friends are slowly but surely trickling in from their holidays, and a couple of local acquaintances have sent me welcome messages asking if I wanted to get coffee or drinks. With the rest of my time laid out before me, I can't help but feel hopeful about what the future holds. (And if you can't 'live for the hope of it all' in August, when can you.)
Until next time.
<3,
Sydney
